Idiot Arrest   1 comment

Kevin001Central called with a 10-52 dispute. It was in a hallway on Woodbine St. Sean acknowledged and they headed over.

As they stepped into the building there was a male on the first floor. He was yelling up at his girlfriend, or should I say ex-girlfriend who was at the top of the stairs yelling back at him.

The cops were about ten feet from him when he saw them. He spun around crouching and reached under his coat.

Hank yelled “Gun.”

They were too close to go for guns. Dean and Hank rushed him with sticks swinging. He was down and bleeding in about three seconds. Hank pinned him down as Sean frisked him. He had nothing.

“What the hell were you reaching for?”

“Nothing, I only wanted to look like I had a gun to impress my girlfriend.”

Hank said, “You stupid bastard. You’re lucky you aren’t dead right now.” He was cuffed and dragged out to the car. The Patrol Sergeant was called.

When Sgt. Capp got there he asked what they had. Sean explained the situation to the Sgt. and told him he was arresting the asshole for Menacing. Capp reached in the window and slapped the perp across his head.

“Asshole, you should be charged with Felonious Stupidity. Get him treated at Knickerbocker. Put yourself out to Central Booking when you leave the hospital.”

On the way to the hospital Hank and Sean were talking about the collar. They realized that it was lucky they were so close. If the perp had been ten feet further away he would have been shot. When no gun was found there probably would have been an indictment. No one would have believed them.  They would have had asshole hypocrites like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton all over their asses calling for their racist heads. The press and the city would not have backed them up. They could have ended up in jail because this shithead wanted to impress his ex. Sean and Hank were as lucky as the perp was.

The Dr. checked him in the ER. He gave the staff the same story he gave us.

The Doc told him, “You’re lucky I’m not pulling bullets out of you.”

All he had were contusions, abrasions and some minor cuts so it was on to Central Booking. On the way downtown Allen, the perp asked if he was really going to be arrested.

Sean told him, “Not going to be arrested. You are arrested.”

“But I didn’t really have a gun. You can’t arrest me without a gun.”

“I can and I did.”

Now Allen started to cry. He kept crying louder and louder.

Finally Hank turned to Allen, “As my father always said, stop crying or I’ll stop this car and give you something to cry about.”

He stopped his loud wailing and just sniffled in the back.

When they arrived at Central Booking the Sgt. didn’t believe their story until the perp admitted to it. More and more it showed how lucky they were. They came within ten feet of being in cuffs on the news. Sean wanted to take Allen out and kick his ass again. The paperwork done Sean and Hank returned to the Precinct. Sean would have court in the morning.

The next morning Sean went to draw up my Criminal Complaint. Neither the ADA nor the typist believed the story. The A.D.A wanted to know what the prisoner’s story would be.

“So far he has told everyone the truth. I don’t know what Legal Aid will tell him to say but I think he will stick with it.”

The A.D.A said “We will see.”

He was rushed through the system to try to get the case before a judge. The A.D.A. was hoping to get the case done before Allen could change his mind. Allen’s case was called before lunch which was about ten hours earlier than expected.

The case called, the charges were read. The Defendant pled guilty. A plea bargain had been reached he would get an A.C.D.  An A.C.D. means Adjourned in Contemplation of Dismissal. If  he doesn’t get arrested again in six months the case will be dismissed. It counts as a conviction for the D.A. but the arrest can be expunged leaving the Defendant’s record clean. His Legal Aid Attorney then explained to the judge that Allen was just trying to impress his girlfriend who had dumped him. He said that Allen didn’t have a weapon of any kind and he didn’t realize the seriousness of his actions.

Judge Donnelly after listening to the Attorney still didn’t seem to believe anyone could be that dumb. He asked the Defendant to explain what happened in his owns words. Allen did, he ended his story.

“I thought she would think I wasn’t afraid of anything if she saw me go for a gun. I thought when we got outside the cops would let me go. I didn’t know they could arrest me even if I didn’t have a gun.”

Judge Donnelly then asked Sean if I had any objection to the plea or sentence. He was just about the only judge in Brooklyn who would ask.

“No, I  think he us just really stupid. I don’t think he understood what could have happened. Plus we took him down pretty hard when we thought he had a gun.”

Now Judge Donnelly turned to the Defendant and he looked pissed. He told Allen that he was extremely lucky that he had two veteran Police Officer’s arrive on the scene last night.

“If it had been different Officer’s they might not have acted with such incredible restraint. Instead of standing before me you could be laying on a slab in the morgue. I will accept this plea but if I ever see you in front of me again you will get the maximum for whatever you get convicted of. I will do that to take you off the streets for your own safety. Now apologize the Officer and thank him for not shooting you.”

Sean hurried upstairs to sign out. If he could make it back to the precinct before twelve he would be able to work the midnight tour.



Posted September 24, 2013 by kevingcox in Random Thoughts

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One response to “Idiot Arrest

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  1. I enjoyed this alot! It’s hard to believe that there are as many dumbasses in the world who don’t think of who their actions can affect or worse don’t care. Until you start working with the public you can’t comprehend this. People tend to think being a police officer is all sitting around in the car and eating donuts but you are proof that there is a hell of alot more to it. You really should publish your stories so people can appreciate all an officer does but also for a really good laugh!

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